We are living in a graceless world. Our newspapers are splattered with blood. Fightings, killings, bloodshed and other violence fill its pages because people are not able to give grace to others for many perverse reasons. People do not know how to
channelise their anger in a healthy way. Anger and rage have become the order of the day. What does today’s cataclysmic world expect from Christians? Are we grace-full Christians trying to create a world without hate?
Grace is a Christian virtue. We are made in the image and very nature of God. If we can say, ‘God is love,’ we must be able to say, ‘I am love.’ If God is a gracious God, we ought to be gracious people (Jn 1:14-
17). In every area of our life we need to exhibit grace. With a note of urgency Paul writes to the Philippians, “Let yor gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near’ (4:5). Our behaviour at home and outside must proclaim our meekness.
One person who generously dispensed grace was Joseph. His life is a patchwork of mystifying stories. He had every reason to be angry with his brothers and harbour grudge against them. In a stranger-than- fiction twist to this saga, when his brothers
expected utter disdain and punishment they were shown grace. Joseph spoke little of his personal life, gallantly skimming past the tragedies, focussing on the lesson life had taught— that God turned his trials for good. Hate doesn’t bring a peaceful
solution in any situation. God can use our troubles to accomplish an even greater good.
Classic is that Joseph kissed all his brothers who wanted him dead. He did not burn with hatred demanding a confession or expected them to beg for mercy but threw a banquet and showered them with gifts. His prison door, where he was a prisoner to his
unforgiveness swung open and he breathed free. He would have had a peaceful sleep that night. A load had been lifted from his shoulders.
Come to the prophecy about Joseph in Genesis 49:22-26. “Joseph is a fruitful vine, a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall...Prince among his brothers.” Joseph and his brothers were as different as cheese and chalk. Joseph was
full of the fruit of the Spirit because he was near a spring. That was the secret. Many of us are not able to bear the fruit of the Spirit because we are not close to God. We don’t draw sap from Him every minute.
Another thing we notice here is a hard brick wall signifying resistance. It is a block. He climbed over all hurdles to give fruit. I want to talk about only one fruit here
— the fruit of grace. It is inclusive of all the fruit of the Spirit.
We find Joseph weeping many times sacrificing his decorum (42:24; 43:30;45:2;50:1). He felt a strong connection. I am sure many of his weepings are not recorded. Weeping shows his tender heart. That’s how he was a prince among his brothers, because he refused to cross swords with them. He was different. His brothers ought to have cried for their ruinous folly. Instead Joseph cried. His story stirs our psyche.
You could easily guess Joseph’s baffled state of mind when his brothers suddenly appeared in his presence. His heart lodged in his throat and he had a massive emotional meltdown. He could not forgive and embrace them in the first instance. He was running
into a brickwall, a barrier. May be he wanted to see if God had dealt with his brothers as He had dealt with him. Yes, God had dealt with them. In the subsequent visit they were ready to risk life and limb for their brother Benjamin. He had to pull
himself up the wall and forgive his brothers. By that act he conquered himself. His anger diffused, he embraced and kissed them. Thus he became a prince among them. Joseph knew in his heart that everything he had been through, every pain had led him to
this point.
After his father’s death they were falling over to please Joseph, giving themselves up as his slaves. It was a raw struggle to survive. Joseph could have made them his slaves. He had the unassailable authority to have them executed. But Joseph reassured
them saying, “Don’t be afraid, am I in the place of God? ... I will provide for you and your children ... and he spoke kindly to them” (Gen 50:15-21). Joseph forgave them not for his father’s sake but for his own sake. His simple pragmatism and amiable
disposition are for us to follow. He proves to us that it is possible to maintain our personal integrity and ethics while climbing the ladder of success.
Let’s see our life against this backdrop. We are not in God’s place to get angry with someone or take revenge. Everyday we face situations that provoke us. How do we react? There’s a huge buzz around the “Angry Bird” now. That shows the trend of the
world. Are you an Angry Bird or do you give grace to those who wrong you? If we are known for losing our temper, we are birdbrains.
Many Christians do not consider anger as a sin. See what the Apostle James wirtes: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the
righteousness that God desires ... Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight reign on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (Js 1:19,20,26). “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault
in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check” (Js 3:2). Your foot can slip, your tongue cannot. Are you in the habit of shouting, screaming, cursing, abusing, threatening, throwing and breaking things? A general rule of thumb when
you get angry is to keep quiet for a short while ie slow to speak. Usually during this time we will be able to take hold of the reins of our emotions. “Where there is shouting there is no true knowledge,” said Leonardo da Vinci. We have two ears but one
tongue so we can listen twice as much as we speak.
In this graceless world of graceless parenting we should give plenty of grace to our children. Father’s instruction and mother’s teaching are supposed to be a garland of grace for children (Prov 1:8,9). Children should not be yelled at, unecessarily
punished, beaten, starved, locked up or sent out of the house. We must be there for them through the highs and the lows.
Children have a nagging doubt: “Am I loved?” (unconditionally). “Am I wanted?”
Keep showing them grace. What do you say when your child says: “I want to die. I want to run away from home?” Do you mock him saying, “Try. It is not so easy to die. Only if you run away from home you’ll know what it means”? The child already has doubts about your love. Tell him, “No baby. Don’t go away. We love you. We want you at home.” Sounds very 21st century, isn’t it?
When you child says sorry, don’t shout, “What’s the use of saying sorry umpteen number of times? You must show change.” Don’t you know Jesus taught us to forgive any number of times? Keep on giving grace. Discipline? Yes, but do it with firmness and
grace, not anger. A gentle person can be a strong person. What gave courage to the Prodigal to come back to his father, after all the atrocious things he did? He knew his father’s heart of grace.
When you feel like slapping, gnashing or shouting, ‘Get out,’ remember, when God felt like slapping you or gnashing at you or shouting, ‘Get out of My house,” He gave you grace. The king forgave a huge amount to his debtor. But that man wouldn’t forgive
a petty amount to his own debtor. We have received so much forgiveness from God. How can we ever get angry with anyone? God has forgiven us a mountain. Should we not forgive a mound? “You were to them: God-Who-Forgives,” says Psalm
99:8. Can we be a Friend-Who-Forgives?
Blessed are the merciful, the kind, the gentle, the forgiving, for they shall obtain mercy. Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right
cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles (Mt 5:38-41). Where is Jesus and where are we? Beatitudes teach us proper attitudes.
Try slapping a person. You don’t slap on the right cheek. The first cheek you slap is the left one. That means when a person has slapped you on the left and then the right you turn your left cheek once again. How are your cheeks? Soft, smooth, rosy? Then
you have not practiced the Sermon on the Mount. When you face verbal abuse, or physical abuse or emotional abuse turn your other cheek. That is practical Christianity. Who is slapping you right now? Your spouse, boss, neighbour, daughter-in-law,
mother-in-law? Turn the other cheek. Forgive them. Is there a wall hindering you? A fear, a hesitation, a shyness or ego, a resistance? Climb over it and give them grace. Jesus was slapped and abused (Jn 19:3) But He prayed for their forgiveness. The Holy Spirit will teach you when to turn the other cheek and when to be assertive.
“If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Mt 6:14,15). The moral of the forgiving king and the unforgiving
servant is: “This is how My heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Mt 18:23-35). It is an irony that some people who are angry, abusive and unforgiving can also be fervently religious. How can they be so at odds with what the Bible teaches? For them the rich teachings of the Bible are separate from their own poor ethics. By forgiving, you are doing a great favour to yourself. Because when you forgive others, God forgives you. Why should you forfeit your forgiveness for a pittance?
For some people volatile temper is the way of life. They get angry for everything. You keep on doing something, at a certain point it becomes your character that cannot be changed.
“Once in a day is mistake; Twice in a day is habit; Thrice in a day is life style.”
We are what we repeatedly do. Change before it is too late. It is inadmissible to keep on saying, “It is my nature.” You have God’s nature. You are a new creation. Tell yourself, “I am going to change. I am not going to get angry. I am going to give
grace to everyone. I am going to turn the other cheek.” Write to us for anger prayer cards. Keep it in your Bible and pray daily. Buy for your angry friends and give with a prayer. (Each 10 cards cost Rs.100/- Postage extra. The money goes to missions).
Let’s kiss our enemies and change the angry world.
When we wash the bathroom, if some dirt doesn’t go, we pour acid and wash. If we have resistant dirts God will have to do that for us. Then we’ll have to live with the scar forever, limping like Jacob. Why not change before that bitter experience?
Giving grace is what David did to Absalom. He pleaded with the soldiers: “Don’t do anything to the child,” knowing pretty well that if Absalom won the war he might become Absalom’s prisoner. That is turning the other cheek.
Our lips should be anointed with grace (Psa 45:2); so that we can speak with grace (Prov 22:11). Let our conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how to answer everyone (Col 4:6). Gracious words are the marks of a
wise man (Eccl 10:12).
This generation is very touchy and intolerant. They are not able to put up with the slightest inconvenience. They expect everything to be perfect, and when it isn’t they stamp their feet. They react in anger. This world is a big irritant. The knack is to
remaim unirritated.
Pharaoh seethed with anger as he pursued the Israelites. God made the wheels of his chariots come off. If you don’t give heed to repeated warning and continue your life of anger and ungrace, the Lord will do the same for you and you will have difficulty
progressing in your Christian life. You may have 101 reasons not to forgive someone. But that is no good reason to hold a grudge. In Charleston, USA, a white youth shot nine blacks to their death in a church in June this year (2015). The bereaved said,
“We have no room for hating, so we have to forgive.” It is a straight message to the Christian World. God has forgiven our past present and future. Can you give such an assurance to your enemy?
Let’s fall in line with the “cross” culture. As Jesus hung there, He had no bitterness, no hate, no anger — only love.
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”
(Col 3:12,13).
“No matter how the world is treating you, if you are caring, loving and kind in the way you treat the world, your journey will be easiser.”
— Paul Williams www.lilianstanley.com
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
We are living in a graceless world. Our newspapers are splattered with blood. Fightings, killings, bloodshed and other violence fill its pages because people are not able to give grace to others for many perverse reasons. People do not know how to
channelise their anger in a healthy way. Anger and rage have become the order of the day. What does today’s cataclysmic world expect from Christians? Are we grace-full Christians trying to create a world without hate?
Grace is a Christian virtue. We are made in the image and very nature of God. If we can say, ‘God is love,’ we must be able to say, ‘I am love.’ If God is a gracious God, we ought to be gracious people (Jn 1:14-
17). In every area of our life we need to exhibit grace. With a note of urgency Paul writes to the Philippians, “Let yor gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near’ (4:5). Our behaviour at home and outside must proclaim our meekness.
One person who generously dispensed grace was Joseph. His life is a patchwork of mystifying stories. He had every reason to be angry with his brothers and harbour grudge against them. In a stranger-than- fiction twist to this saga, when his brothers
expected utter disdain and punishment they were shown grace. Joseph spoke little of his personal life, gallantly skimming past the tragedies, focussing on the lesson life had taught— that God turned his trials for good. Hate doesn’t bring a peaceful
solution in any situation. God can use our troubles to accomplish an even greater good.
Classic is that Joseph kissed all his brothers who wanted him dead. He did not burn with hatred demanding a confession or expected them to beg for mercy but threw a banquet and showered them with gifts. His prison door, where he was a prisoner to his
unforgiveness swung open and he breathed free. He would have had a peaceful sleep that night. A load had been lifted from his shoulders.
Come to the prophecy about Joseph in Genesis 49:22-26. “Joseph is a fruitful vine, a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall...Prince among his brothers.” Joseph and his brothers were as different as cheese and chalk. Joseph was
full of the fruit of the Spirit because he was near a spring. That was the secret. Many of us are not able to bear the fruit of the Spirit because we are not close to God. We don’t draw sap from Him every minute.
Another thing we notice here is a hard brick wall signifying resistance. It is a block. He climbed over all hurdles to give fruit. I want to talk about only one fruit here
— the fruit of grace. It is inclusive of all the fruit of the Spirit.
We find Joseph weeping many times sacrificing his decorum (42:24; 43:30;45:2;50:1). He felt a strong connection. I am sure many of his weepings are not recorded. Weeping shows his tender heart. That’s how he was a prince among his brothers, because he refused to cross swords with them. He was different. His brothers ought to have cried for their ruinous folly. Instead Joseph cried. His story stirs our psyche.
You could easily guess Joseph’s baffled state of mind when his brothers suddenly appeared in his presence. His heart lodged in his throat and he had a massive emotional meltdown. He could not forgive and embrace them in the first instance. He was running
into a brickwall, a barrier. May be he wanted to see if God had dealt with his brothers as He had dealt with him. Yes, God had dealt with them. In the subsequent visit they were ready to risk life and limb for their brother Benjamin. He had to pull
himself up the wall and forgive his brothers. By that act he conquered himself. His anger diffused, he embraced and kissed them. Thus he became a prince among them. Joseph knew in his heart that everything he had been through, every pain had led him to
this point.
After his father’s death they were falling over to please Joseph, giving themselves up as his slaves. It was a raw struggle to survive. Joseph could have made them his slaves. He had the unassailable authority to have them executed. But Joseph reassured
them saying, “Don’t be afraid, am I in the place of God? ... I will provide for you and your children ... and he spoke kindly to them” (Gen 50:15-21). Joseph forgave them not for his father’s sake but for his own sake. His simple pragmatism and amiable
disposition are for us to follow. He proves to us that it is possible to maintain our personal integrity and ethics while climbing the ladder of success.
Let’s see our life against this backdrop. We are not in God’s place to get angry with someone or take revenge. Everyday we face situations that provoke us. How do we react? There’s a huge buzz around the “Angry Bird” now. That shows the trend of the
world. Are you an Angry Bird or do you give grace to those who wrong you? If we are known for losing our temper, we are birdbrains.
Many Christians do not consider anger as a sin. See what the Apostle James wirtes: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the
righteousness that God desires ... Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight reign on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (Js 1:19,20,26). “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault
in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check” (Js 3:2). Your foot can slip, your tongue cannot. Are you in the habit of shouting, screaming, cursing, abusing, threatening, throwing and breaking things? A general rule of thumb when
you get angry is to keep quiet for a short while ie slow to speak. Usually during this time we will be able to take hold of the reins of our emotions. “Where there is shouting there is no true knowledge,” said Leonardo da Vinci. We have two ears but one
tongue so we can listen twice as much as we speak.
In this graceless world of graceless parenting we should give plenty of grace to our children. Father’s instruction and mother’s teaching are supposed to be a garland of grace for children (Prov 1:8,9). Children should not be yelled at, unecessarily
punished, beaten, starved, locked up or sent out of the house. We must be there for them through the highs and the lows.
Children have a nagging doubt: “Am I loved?” (unconditionally). “Am I wanted?”
Keep showing them grace. What do you say when your child says: “I want to die. I want to run away from home?” Do you mock him saying, “Try. It is not so easy to die. Only if you run away from home you’ll know what it means”? The child already has doubts about your love. Tell him, “No baby. Don’t go away. We love you. We want you at home.” Sounds very 21st century, isn’t it?
When you child says sorry, don’t shout, “What’s the use of saying sorry umpteen number of times? You must show change.” Don’t you know Jesus taught us to forgive any number of times? Keep on giving grace. Discipline? Yes, but do it with firmness and
grace, not anger. A gentle person can be a strong person. What gave courage to the Prodigal to come back to his father, after all the atrocious things he did? He knew his father’s heart of grace.
When you feel like slapping, gnashing or shouting, ‘Get out,’ remember, when God felt like slapping you or gnashing at you or shouting, ‘Get out of My house,” He gave you grace. The king forgave a huge amount to his debtor. But that man wouldn’t forgive
a petty amount to his own debtor. We have received so much forgiveness from God. How can we ever get angry with anyone? God has forgiven us a mountain. Should we not forgive a mound? “You were to them: God-Who-Forgives,” says Psalm
99:8. Can we be a Friend-Who-Forgives?
Blessed are the merciful, the kind, the gentle, the forgiving, for they shall obtain mercy. Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right
cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles (Mt 5:38-41). Where is Jesus and where are we? Beatitudes teach us proper attitudes.
Try slapping a person. You don’t slap on the right cheek. The first cheek you slap is the left one. That means when a person has slapped you on the left and then the right you turn your left cheek once again. How are your cheeks? Soft, smooth, rosy? Then
you have not practiced the Sermon on the Mount. When you face verbal abuse, or physical abuse or emotional abuse turn your other cheek. That is practical Christianity. Who is slapping you right now? Your spouse, boss, neighbour, daughter-in-law,
mother-in-law? Turn the other cheek. Forgive them. Is there a wall hindering you? A fear, a hesitation, a shyness or ego, a resistance? Climb over it and give them grace. Jesus was slapped and abused (Jn 19:3) But He prayed for their forgiveness. The Holy Spirit will teach you when to turn the other cheek and when to be assertive.
“If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Mt 6:14,15). The moral of the forgiving king and the unforgiving
servant is: “This is how My heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Mt 18:23-35). It is an irony that some people who are angry, abusive and unforgiving can also be fervently religious. How can they be so at odds with what the Bible teaches? For them the rich teachings of the Bible are separate from their own poor ethics. By forgiving, you are doing a great favour to yourself. Because when you forgive others, God forgives you. Why should you forfeit your forgiveness for a pittance?
For some people volatile temper is the way of life. They get angry for everything. You keep on doing something, at a certain point it becomes your character that cannot be changed.
“Once in a day is mistake; Twice in a day is habit; Thrice in a day is life style.”
We are what we repeatedly do. Change before it is too late. It is inadmissible to keep on saying, “It is my nature.” You have God’s nature. You are a new creation. Tell yourself, “I am going to change. I am not going to get angry. I am going to give
grace to everyone. I am going to turn the other cheek.” Write to us for anger prayer cards. Keep it in your Bible and pray daily. Buy for your angry friends and give with a prayer. (Each 10 cards cost Rs.100/- Postage extra. The money goes to missions).
Let’s kiss our enemies and change the angry world.
When we wash the bathroom, if some dirt doesn’t go, we pour acid and wash. If we have resistant dirts God will have to do that for us. Then we’ll have to live with the scar forever, limping like Jacob. Why not change before that bitter experience?
Giving grace is what David did to Absalom. He pleaded with the soldiers: “Don’t do anything to the child,” knowing pretty well that if Absalom won the war he might become Absalom’s prisoner. That is turning the other cheek.
Our lips should be anointed with grace (Psa 45:2); so that we can speak with grace (Prov 22:11). Let our conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how to answer everyone (Col 4:6). Gracious words are the marks of a
wise man (Eccl 10:12).
This generation is very touchy and intolerant. They are not able to put up with the slightest inconvenience. They expect everything to be perfect, and when it isn’t they stamp their feet. They react in anger. This world is a big irritant. The knack is to
remaim unirritated.
Pharaoh seethed with anger as he pursued the Israelites. God made the wheels of his chariots come off. If you don’t give heed to repeated warning and continue your life of anger and ungrace, the Lord will do the same for you and you will have difficulty
progressing in your Christian life. You may have 101 reasons not to forgive someone. But that is no good reason to hold a grudge. In Charleston, USA, a white youth shot nine blacks to their death in a church in June this year (2015). The bereaved said,
“We have no room for hating, so we have to forgive.” It is a straight message to the Christian World. God has forgiven our past present and future. Can you give such an assurance to your enemy?
Let’s fall in line with the “cross” culture. As Jesus hung there, He had no bitterness, no hate, no anger — only love.
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”
(Col 3:12,13).
“No matter how the world is treating you, if you are caring, loving and kind in the way you treat the world, your journey will be easiser.”
— Paul Williams www.lilianstanley.com
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
