The first seeds of soulwinning were planted in my heart at the age of 13 when I was converted; not by a big sermon but by the simple example of Sam Annachi (Mr. P. Samuel of Danishpet) who was speaking to us with tears about heaven and hell, having come to Thanjavur (my native town) in a hurry to conduct Vacation Bible School after having buried his child who died of meningitis just the previous day. Not only did I commit my life to Christ but a longing to serve God was entwined with it.
As I grew up, the seed apparently lay dormant. Every speaker speaking about 'soul-burden' filled me with a guilt complex. I had absolutely nothing of that stuff they spoke about. I thought probably I was not properly converted. But I never realised that
the seed was getting soaked and was swelling up. I prayed for what they called soul-burden but nothing seemed to happen.
But as I read the Word of God again and again it impressed upon me that it was first God's commandment and so my duty to win souls, irrespective of whether I had any 'burden' or not. If a doctor is not burdened for his patients, yet he cannot stay away
from duty. If a policeman is not burdened for the law, that's no excuse for him to stay out of beat. Yes, I had no excuse. God's words came loud and clear: "Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not He who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not He who guards your life know it? Will He not repay everyone according to what they have done?" (Prov 24:11,12).
I decided to do it. But how? I was the shyest person one could think of. I could not bring myself to talk to anyone about anything , leave alone about Jesus. My first step in breaking the barrier was making friends. I learned to go out of the way to talk
to people and make friends of them. The seed coat was bursting.
Teaching in VBS and the Church Sunday School was easy. But to talk to those outside the sanctuary was a task. The time came when I was full to the throat yet 4 inches short, for words did not come to my tongue. But finally I made it. I learned to ask the
question, "Do you know about Jesus?" The sign of life, the first shoot was springing up.
By now I was in the Medical College. Fear was my greatest enemy. I gave tracts to patients and talked to them, but not before a quick glance around to ensure no one was watching me. I faced jeers and jokes. The shoot has to someday hit against the ground
and break it. After reading Matthew chapter 10 a new strength surged into me.
I was very casual in my attempt, obviously for lack of burden for souls and just a mere sense of duty. I often used to quickly tell one and pass on or procrastinate. One day a fair fat Hindu was admitted with bleeding disease. Though I had a strong urge
to talk to him about God I decided in my own wisdom to wait for a day to get acquainted with him, and he was looking so healthy. Imagine my horror when he died the same night of bleeding in the brain! To think that I would meet him on the judgment day and he would tell God he never heard of Him and the face of Jesus turning to me as if asking: "I sent him to you just for that and how could you...?" Horrors! I could not have had a harder lesson not to procrastinate.
I continued to trudge along the path of soulwinning but not winning souls, or so I thought. Years were rolling by. I was now house surgeon. No fruits, no souls. One day I fought with God, not like Jacob to bless me but to take His heavy hand of soulwinning off me. What was the use of me going like a jerk, speaking of Christ when no one was turning to Him? I was going to stop this mad business. It was probably a gift or talent given to a few only. The very next day as I was walking inside the hospital campus a small hand pulled at my coat. "Who are you thambi? What do you want?" "Akka, don't you know me?" "No, no of course." "You told me about Jesus and heaven and hell when I was waiting for my surgery. Since then I am a child of Jesus. I told my parents so. They said someone had deceived me. But I told them Jesus is the true God and I would not leave Him. I am Mani." O my! Till today I doubt if it was Mani or an angel sent by God to pat me on the shoulder. Never after I doubted the Spirit's work in human arts. The seed was bringing forth fruits!
I made the most foolish blunders. I sometimes confronted the wrong persons, at the wrong time, at the wrong place, with wrong questions and was put to shame. For two days I would lie down in bed, burying my face in the pillows, blushing. But I always
pulled myself together. If an experience of shame and remorse could switch me off, I was not worth a dime for Kingdom service. It is the wind and the rain and the sun that hardens a seedling!
I learned to tune up my lethargic self. My routine was to close down the clinic at 11 a.m. have an early lunch and go out fishing and be back before 5 p.m. for the evening clinic and to receive my husband. My little daughter of 3 years (1974) would flatly refuse to stay at home with my mother-in-law but come running behind me screaming down the street. Should I go soulwinning? Should I look after my child? Well, I struck a compromise. I carried her in one hand and umbrella on the other. It was as simple as that. On returning home I used to pour chill water on my burning feet. I disposed off my hens and called the dhoby for ironing. It was not worth saving Rs. 20/- when precious souls were perishing and I took to wandering. If you want to be successful in the Kingdom of God, remember, success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.
As years went by before I ever realised, there stood before me my self-confidence like a giant. Conversion and Spirit-anointing became natural phenomena when I talked to people that I did not notice God moving out of the picture. But thank God! He applied the brakes. Suddenly I was walking on barren ground. No conversions, no tears, no moving of hearts, no anointing; icy coldness stared into my face. I was broken, crushed and ashamed. I decided to repair the altar. The restoration was not as quick and simple as the degradation. It took years, tears, fears and what not, but I was back at where I left. A bruised shoot He will not break.
I learned to trust in prayer. The devil would laugh at me. What good is it to day-dream on your knees? You might as well get up and do something useful. I was now preaching to many, sharing about soulwinning to individual Christians, talking to groups,
challenging. To whom can I confide? I decided to fight it through. I started climbing up the terrace and praying aloud. I was through! But the training continues. Now I am learning to weep and cry for souls. The seed has to die before it brings forth fruit!
I understood the value of sharing from the following experience. Once I was standing in our porch, watching a little shepherd boy. I called him and told him stories and showed pictures. That was the start of our Home Sunday Class. Next Sunday he came with another five. Then gradually it became 105. I shared the thought in our keywomen meet and about 50 or more slum, home, seashore and tree-shade Sunday classes, handled by college girls and housewives sprang up. Praise the Lord! That reminds me of herds of birds sitting on the branches of a tree from the seed!
I was passionately possessive of what I started. But I soon discovered that the tighter I clenched my fist the harder it was to use my hands. Then the Lord taught me to relax and let go. It was when two of us were visiting a Home for girls regularly and reaping abundant fruits. Many wayward girls found the Lord. One day I took a sister to testify there. To my unpleasant surprise she brought some sisters from her assembly to visit the place ahead of us. It ached my heart but the Lord said, "Let go." After five years I found that she was faithfully continuing the work. Glory to God! Yes, the less one cares to whom the credit goes the more good he can do. It has become my practice now to start something and keep praying that the Lord would send someone to snatch it away or I fetch someone to carry it on. A seedling is bound to grow branches sometime or other and has got to rejoice seeing someone enjoy its produce.
At times I made the mistake of praying and praying without caring to knock at the closed door in front of me. Closed doors do not mean locked doors. Many were the ones who desired to go to the tomb on the third day. The many said: "Who will roll away the
stone for us?" and slept. But the few who said, "Who will roll the stone for us?" and WENT, found the open door. The problem with many of us is we do not knock. Often we go to knock and find the door already open! Many times I have wasted time but finally when I went I met a welcoming face and sometimes the authorities have been believers!
I think the toughest fight I ever had with God was regarding speaking the gospel in the presence of believers. "Can't you realise the consequences, dear God? What will they think of me? They will think I am showing off." "Fine. But do you want to pose a humble believer or be a soulwinner? Choose!" I knew He got me cornered.
Shortly, I was travelling with a group of believers in the train. They were chatting, playing, reading the Bible, etc. "Oh God, not now. How can I? I am the least of them all ." "So What?" "Nothing God, nothing. I know you won't leave me." I talked to a begger softly, self-consciously. He sat down right at my feet. What followed in a few minutes was like a dream... He started removing his talisman, knots and strings. He called his son to listen to the glorious gospel. Both of them knelt down then and there in the dirty floor of the train and prayed the prayer of commitment and were beautifully converted. Now I was surrounded by the fellow believer passengers. "How do you talk to strangers?" "How to tell the gospel so simply?" "Can you give me your address, please?" Oh God, You honour them who honour You! Till today I face the problem of hesitation before talking to someone about Jesus. But many a believer who has seen me doing that has testified that she was challenged and was convicted and she decided to commit for a life of soulwinning.
The call of the lost which fell in deaf ears 25 years ago has gradually become louder and closer that at times when I am forced to remain at home I can't stand it but feel like closing my ears and screaming.
Beloved, is there a mustard seed in your heart? Don't neglect it. Nurture it, water it, tend it and manure it. For, "the Kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field; which indeed is the least of all the seeds; but when it is grown, it is greater than the herbs, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches!"
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
The first seeds of soulwinning were planted in my heart at the age of 13 when I was converted; not by a big sermon but by the simple example of Sam Annachi (Mr. P. Samuel of Danishpet) who was speaking to us with tears about heaven and hell, having come to Thanjavur (my native town) in a hurry to conduct Vacation Bible School after having buried his child who died of meningitis just the previous day. Not only did I commit my life to Christ but a longing to serve God was entwined with it.
As I grew up, the seed apparently lay dormant. Every speaker speaking about 'soul-burden' filled me with a guilt complex. I had absolutely nothing of that stuff they spoke about. I thought probably I was not properly converted. But I never realised that
the seed was getting soaked and was swelling up. I prayed for what they called soul-burden but nothing seemed to happen.
But as I read the Word of God again and again it impressed upon me that it was first God's commandment and so my duty to win souls, irrespective of whether I had any 'burden' or not. If a doctor is not burdened for his patients, yet he cannot stay away
from duty. If a policeman is not burdened for the law, that's no excuse for him to stay out of beat. Yes, I had no excuse. God's words came loud and clear: "Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not He who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not He who guards your life know it? Will He not repay everyone according to what they have done?" (Prov 24:11,12).
I decided to do it. But how? I was the shyest person one could think of. I could not bring myself to talk to anyone about anything , leave alone about Jesus. My first step in breaking the barrier was making friends. I learned to go out of the way to talk
to people and make friends of them. The seed coat was bursting.
Teaching in VBS and the Church Sunday School was easy. But to talk to those outside the sanctuary was a task. The time came when I was full to the throat yet 4 inches short, for words did not come to my tongue. But finally I made it. I learned to ask the
question, "Do you know about Jesus?" The sign of life, the first shoot was springing up.
By now I was in the Medical College. Fear was my greatest enemy. I gave tracts to patients and talked to them, but not before a quick glance around to ensure no one was watching me. I faced jeers and jokes. The shoot has to someday hit against the ground
and break it. After reading Matthew chapter 10 a new strength surged into me.
I was very casual in my attempt, obviously for lack of burden for souls and just a mere sense of duty. I often used to quickly tell one and pass on or procrastinate. One day a fair fat Hindu was admitted with bleeding disease. Though I had a strong urge
to talk to him about God I decided in my own wisdom to wait for a day to get acquainted with him, and he was looking so healthy. Imagine my horror when he died the same night of bleeding in the brain! To think that I would meet him on the judgment day and he would tell God he never heard of Him and the face of Jesus turning to me as if asking: "I sent him to you just for that and how could you...?" Horrors! I could not have had a harder lesson not to procrastinate.
I continued to trudge along the path of soulwinning but not winning souls, or so I thought. Years were rolling by. I was now house surgeon. No fruits, no souls. One day I fought with God, not like Jacob to bless me but to take His heavy hand of soulwinning off me. What was the use of me going like a jerk, speaking of Christ when no one was turning to Him? I was going to stop this mad business. It was probably a gift or talent given to a few only. The very next day as I was walking inside the hospital campus a small hand pulled at my coat. "Who are you thambi? What do you want?" "Akka, don't you know me?" "No, no of course." "You told me about Jesus and heaven and hell when I was waiting for my surgery. Since then I am a child of Jesus. I told my parents so. They said someone had deceived me. But I told them Jesus is the true God and I would not leave Him. I am Mani." O my! Till today I doubt if it was Mani or an angel sent by God to pat me on the shoulder. Never after I doubted the Spirit's work in human arts. The seed was bringing forth fruits!
I made the most foolish blunders. I sometimes confronted the wrong persons, at the wrong time, at the wrong place, with wrong questions and was put to shame. For two days I would lie down in bed, burying my face in the pillows, blushing. But I always
pulled myself together. If an experience of shame and remorse could switch me off, I was not worth a dime for Kingdom service. It is the wind and the rain and the sun that hardens a seedling!
I learned to tune up my lethargic self. My routine was to close down the clinic at 11 a.m. have an early lunch and go out fishing and be back before 5 p.m. for the evening clinic and to receive my husband. My little daughter of 3 years (1974) would flatly refuse to stay at home with my mother-in-law but come running behind me screaming down the street. Should I go soulwinning? Should I look after my child? Well, I struck a compromise. I carried her in one hand and umbrella on the other. It was as simple as that. On returning home I used to pour chill water on my burning feet. I disposed off my hens and called the dhoby for ironing. It was not worth saving Rs. 20/- when precious souls were perishing and I took to wandering. If you want to be successful in the Kingdom of God, remember, success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.
As years went by before I ever realised, there stood before me my self-confidence like a giant. Conversion and Spirit-anointing became natural phenomena when I talked to people that I did not notice God moving out of the picture. But thank God! He applied the brakes. Suddenly I was walking on barren ground. No conversions, no tears, no moving of hearts, no anointing; icy coldness stared into my face. I was broken, crushed and ashamed. I decided to repair the altar. The restoration was not as quick and simple as the degradation. It took years, tears, fears and what not, but I was back at where I left. A bruised shoot He will not break.
I learned to trust in prayer. The devil would laugh at me. What good is it to day-dream on your knees? You might as well get up and do something useful. I was now preaching to many, sharing about soulwinning to individual Christians, talking to groups,
challenging. To whom can I confide? I decided to fight it through. I started climbing up the terrace and praying aloud. I was through! But the training continues. Now I am learning to weep and cry for souls. The seed has to die before it brings forth fruit!
I understood the value of sharing from the following experience. Once I was standing in our porch, watching a little shepherd boy. I called him and told him stories and showed pictures. That was the start of our Home Sunday Class. Next Sunday he came with another five. Then gradually it became 105. I shared the thought in our keywomen meet and about 50 or more slum, home, seashore and tree-shade Sunday classes, handled by college girls and housewives sprang up. Praise the Lord! That reminds me of herds of birds sitting on the branches of a tree from the seed!
I was passionately possessive of what I started. But I soon discovered that the tighter I clenched my fist the harder it was to use my hands. Then the Lord taught me to relax and let go. It was when two of us were visiting a Home for girls regularly and reaping abundant fruits. Many wayward girls found the Lord. One day I took a sister to testify there. To my unpleasant surprise she brought some sisters from her assembly to visit the place ahead of us. It ached my heart but the Lord said, "Let go." After five years I found that she was faithfully continuing the work. Glory to God! Yes, the less one cares to whom the credit goes the more good he can do. It has become my practice now to start something and keep praying that the Lord would send someone to snatch it away or I fetch someone to carry it on. A seedling is bound to grow branches sometime or other and has got to rejoice seeing someone enjoy its produce.
At times I made the mistake of praying and praying without caring to knock at the closed door in front of me. Closed doors do not mean locked doors. Many were the ones who desired to go to the tomb on the third day. The many said: "Who will roll away the
stone for us?" and slept. But the few who said, "Who will roll the stone for us?" and WENT, found the open door. The problem with many of us is we do not knock. Often we go to knock and find the door already open! Many times I have wasted time but finally when I went I met a welcoming face and sometimes the authorities have been believers!
I think the toughest fight I ever had with God was regarding speaking the gospel in the presence of believers. "Can't you realise the consequences, dear God? What will they think of me? They will think I am showing off." "Fine. But do you want to pose a humble believer or be a soulwinner? Choose!" I knew He got me cornered.
Shortly, I was travelling with a group of believers in the train. They were chatting, playing, reading the Bible, etc. "Oh God, not now. How can I? I am the least of them all ." "So What?" "Nothing God, nothing. I know you won't leave me." I talked to a begger softly, self-consciously. He sat down right at my feet. What followed in a few minutes was like a dream... He started removing his talisman, knots and strings. He called his son to listen to the glorious gospel. Both of them knelt down then and there in the dirty floor of the train and prayed the prayer of commitment and were beautifully converted. Now I was surrounded by the fellow believer passengers. "How do you talk to strangers?" "How to tell the gospel so simply?" "Can you give me your address, please?" Oh God, You honour them who honour You! Till today I face the problem of hesitation before talking to someone about Jesus. But many a believer who has seen me doing that has testified that she was challenged and was convicted and she decided to commit for a life of soulwinning.
The call of the lost which fell in deaf ears 25 years ago has gradually become louder and closer that at times when I am forced to remain at home I can't stand it but feel like closing my ears and screaming.
Beloved, is there a mustard seed in your heart? Don't neglect it. Nurture it, water it, tend it and manure it. For, "the Kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field; which indeed is the least of all the seeds; but when it is grown, it is greater than the herbs, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches!"
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
