This is just an echo of the number of tear-stained letters piled upon my table. The world is overflowing with practical talks for women. “Obey your husband as to the Lord,” rings from every corner. But no one bothers to interpret it for husbands as
husbands must be “as the Lord.” The winds of the four corners of the earth whiz, “Wife, obey your husband,” but not a breeze to speak to the unfair sex. The balance seems to be tilted. The pendulum swings unequally. If there is no interference I am
afraid 50% of world’s population will become dumb robots by this mesmerism. If only I were a husband…!
If I were a husband, I will love my wife!
Many husbands who were ‘good lovers’ before marriage became ‘gloomy husbands’ after marriage. Cannot a husband continue to be a lover? The ‘first love’ should only wax as the marital bliss wanes. The first exclamation of the first man on first seeing his
wife was not “wow!” but, “ This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” If you should love your neighbour as yourself, how much should you love your wife! Many loving husbands take it for granted that their wives know that they love them. Faith without works is dead! A wife enjoys outward expressions of love like a friendly pat or being called by a pet name. It means so much to her. You called her ‘dear’ or ‘darling’, before wedding. What do you call her today?
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her” (Eph 5:25).
“Love never fails” (1 Cor 13:8).
If I were a husband, I will trust my wife!
I will trust her with money, letters, secrets, etc. How sad to find homes with two purses. Some husbands even have secret closets! Don’t always look at your wife with coloured glasses. My husband’s trust on me has helped me to be more faithful with the
money and secrets. Suspicion is a cancer which will eat away your health and happiness. God’s chosen fast includes “not turning away from your own flesh and blood” (Isa 58:6,7). Genesis 2:25 means openness. Christ counted His bride trustworthy (1 Tim
1:12).
“Love ... always trusts” (1 Cor 13:7).
If I were a husband, I will be satisfied with my wife!
I will never compare my wife to so and so and complain. I will be satisfied with her appearance, intelligence, health, cooking, etc. Once a wife knows that her husband is satisfied with her, she will relax and improve. Often dinner table was flooded with tears because you said that your mother cooked better! Your wife is not as experienced a house-keeper as your mother. So never compare her to your mother. It is a very sensitive area for the wife. Better to reserve adverse comments for her good moods!
Many wives are put down by the husband’s
too frequent dissatisfied remarks and they lose hopes of improvement. When the love feels she is dark, the lover says she is all fair! (SS 1:5; 4:7).
“Love is not rude” (1 Cor 13:5).
If I were a husband, I will appreciate my wife!
When was the last time you appreciated your wife? Don’t immediately say, “There is nothing to appreciate.” “First love” started with appreciation. Isn’t it? Has she changed today? Many men pour out the defects of their wives. But we are yet to meet one
who is all praises for his wife. Yet in the same wives I have noticed many a charming quality. Do not be blinded by prejudices. Wives are not all that bad. Appreciation is tonic to build up her quality and you can literally measure her improvement.
Commendation is coal for the fire of love.
‘Thank you’ is never taken for granted by wives — for your information! Appreciate her good looks, her cooking, her washing, her ironing, etc. Praise God for your wife and you’ll see more of her good qualities.
“Love rejoices in the truth” (1 Cor 13:6).
If I were a husband, I will tolerate my wife!
Many of the defects in your wife might have come to light after marriage. So what? Don’t waste your time dreaming of a better person. No wife is better than your wife. She is not an angel. Do not condemn her. Set up an example yourself and by your loving
correction help her to grow out of it. After all you have your own defects. Give her a good allowance of time and she is sure to improve. Eve’s gluttony was revealed to Adam within a week of their marriage and that with a thunderbolt! Yet he lived with her for 930 years! He never kept on shouting at her, but soon forgave her. So I say, because after the tragedy he did not call her ‘Evil’ but ‘Eve’; not Mother of all Evil but Mother of all Living. ‘While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8).
“Love bears all things” (1 Cor 13:7).
If I were a husband, I will forgive my wife!
Many wives try to hide their mistakes from their husbands for fear of the husband’s reaction. It was by the forgiving spirit of Christ that His bride confesses all and gets right with Him. You should praise God for your wife’s mistakes, because if God
had created women as intelligent as men He could not have made you head of the home! So your wife’s mistakes are constant reminders of your eligibility for headship!
“Love endures all things” (1 Cor 13:7).
If I were a husband, I will understand my wife!
When my wife sheds tears, I will not shout at her. After all what authority is to the man, tears is to the woman. What you accomplish by authority the wife does by her tears. Tears are soundless agents to say, “I need someone to understand me.” Hannah
“wept, and did not eat” (1 Sam1 ). If Elkanah were a 20th century husband he would have shouted, “Now look here, this is what I don’t like about you. God has given you this cross to bear and no use trying to cry it out. Go and pray about it, live with Peninah in peace and leave me in peace.” No, Elkanah was an understanding husband. When he recognized that she had a problem in the home, he showed her extra love. He even served her food and that with a generous touch. How that simple act of kindness would have touched Hannah’s heart. When she wept, the first thing he did was to find out, the reason, “Why do you weep?” What tenderness in tone! “Hannah, why?” Many husbands have the air of, “It’s her own problem. She has to get over it.” Or, “She’ll be alright tomorrow.” But remember your wife uses her tears to catch your eye.
When Hannah confided in him, his next question was, “Why do you not eat?” Some husbands hardly ever know if the wife has had her food. But how understanding Elkanah was! He sat with her, found out the reason for her blues, coaxed her to have food,
consoled her and comforted her. “So Hannah rose up!” He could not solve the problem. He could not go to Peninah and chide her. But just by taking time to wipe the tears he had a happy wife. Such a husband is really worth “ten sons!”
When your wife announces that she is leaving for her mother’s, don’t shudder or immediately pack her off or have the “ What-you-do-do-quickly” attitude. Feel at ease. It is just another language to say, “ I have something to tell you, if you will
listen.” Be sensitive to her needs. God knows your frame and treats you accordingly (Psa 103:14).
“Love is kind”(1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will encourage my wife!
Really surprising to see that many husbands do not like to see better qualities in wives than in themselves. Your wife is not your bitter half but better half! If only you give her an encouraging word, she will shine in her field. Condemnation kills. Encouragement plants the seed and waters the seedling. It is said that behind every successful man is a woman. I will say, behind every successful woman is a man. Your wife is not a dignified cook. If you do not value her abilities, you are getting only 50% out of your arriage. God has given only
50% in your hands however superman you may be and the other 50% is in your wife’s hand. Why waste it? When others appreciate your wife, praise the Lord and enjoy the credit. Woman is the glory of man and if you just give her a helping hand up, she will be a crown for you ( 1 Cor 11:7; Prov 12:4).
“Love does not envy” ( 1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will spend time with my wife!
Misunderstandings easily creep in if you do not spend time with your wife. The more time you spend together, smoother will be your life (and wife). Have a listening ear. The love plant which flourished in the first few months of marriage might have
withered because of the heat of the home atmosphere. But love never dies. Attempt to revive it. In the early years of our marriage when we went through strenuous periods we set apart one evening a week for a stroll. It worked miracles! Often husbands
screen off matters and share only what is necessary for the wife (which is often nil). Wives expect to hear a lot from you when you are back from the office. My husband even tells me what was wrong with the bike and in which part and what he did about
it. Though I don’t understand ABC of it I enjoy listening to him and think he’s a hero for it! He yells for me when he hits at a new thought in the Bible or gets me out of the house to watch a lazy bird. Communication gap is the consumer of home life.
Chat heals wounds. How the husband longs for the companionship of his wife, awakes her out of sleep and calls her out to the garden to watch the flowers and birds, the turtle and fruit trees! (SS 2:10-14). Whatever you may call her, God calls your wife, your “companion” (Mal 2:14).
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal” (
1 Cor 13:1).
If I were a husband, I will take my wife out!
Your mind is fully occupied with office work in the office and your wife’s is full of house work in the house. You relax by coming out of your office. Your wife? An outing now and then is a must for her. It is not at all a waste of time as some think
(especially those in ministry). You will soon discover that your wife is more ready now to share your worries and burdens. Avoid too frequent outings without your wife.
“Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages” (SS 7:11).
If I were a husband, I will buy gifts for my wife!
Now don’t throw stones at me. A gift may vary from a rose to a sari. But it is the love behind it. How we wives love the giver (though most often he brings something we don’t like!) The Lord Jesus Christ ascended on high, led captivity captive and brought gifts for His bride (Psa 68:18). Can’t you buy a yard of jasmine down the road or a handkerchief occasionally? It assures her that she is in your thoughts.
“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries
and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing” ( 1 Cor 13:2).
If I were a husband, I will help my wife!
Do not draw a strict line between your work and your wife’s. Changing a wet nappy for your baby is not below your dignity. When guests arrive you can find my husband rolling chappatis. It is not so much the help he does ( he is more of a nuisance in the
kitchen!), but his care for me adds strength to my health. Biblically speaking, the father should carry the baby! (Num 11:12; Dt 1:31). But I have seen many a husband giving a cold stare to the wife when the baby screams. Even if you come home tired,
the transformation witnessed in your wife is worth changing 100 nappies!
“Love is not self seeking” (1 Cor 13:5).
If I were a husband, I will make my wife feel wanted!
In many homes wives are non-entities. In such homes I have noticed the dull expression of the wife ready to run away. Only when she runs away you’ll feel the need of her. No one can fill a wife’s place. Make her feel wanted. Don’t be ashamed to tell her
that you cannot manage without her. The confession will not harden her but only soften. She needs it and deserves it. Tell her how much you missed her when she was away. It is so soothing to a woman who naturally craves for recognition.
“Love does not boast” (1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will respect my wife!
All wives are not Eves. Why are we branded so? Just because some woman disobeyed ages ago we carry a stigma.
Even when Adam tried to throw the blame on Eve, God never accepted it, because Adam had his share. Don’t always turn a deaf ear to your wife’s counsel. All that comes from a woman is not bad. Did not God tell Abraham, “Listen to whatever Sarah tells you
?” (Gen 21:12). Did not God choose to speak to Manoah’s wife twice in spite of ‘his’ earnest prayer? (Judg 13). Did not Mrs. Isaiah prophesy? (Isa 8:3). Did not Adam accept the name given to their sons by Eve? (Gen 4:25;5:3).
Show your respect to her by accepting her good suggestions. Husbands have a lurking complex that they come down from their headship if they accept their wife’s proposals. Never so! God has given you a wife as a “helper” ‘to help you’ in all the areas of
life. Husband and wife are complementary, not contradictory. Never hesitate to accept when she supplies what you lack. Is she not your missing rib?
Every important decision should be taken by the husband and wife together. Though she may not come out with constructive ideas. it will do you no harm to ask her opinion. Many wives say that decisions come from their husbands as bolts from the blue!
“I-am-sorry” is a magic word which boosts her respect for you. Never hesitate to accept your faults.
“Love is not proud” ( 1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will never let down my wife!
Thoughtlessly many husbands let their wives down badly in the presence of relatives and friends. I have noticed many a fallen face of wives. My heart goes out to them because they are like creepers without a support. True, she has weaknesses. But don’t
you think you are the only person on whom she can lean? Do not undermine her confidence in you by degrading her before others. She will then nurture a secret fear everytime she meets your friends or relatives that you would expose her weaknesses and that leads to a vicious circle. It is hard for you to kick against your rib. When I got married I was shocked to find my husband speaking so high of me in his circle. That has literally scared me off many of my shortcomings and helped me to live up to his hopes! Christ confesses His bride before His Father and angels! (Rev 3:5).
“Love does not delight in evil” (1 Cor 13:6).
If I were a husband, I will never allow my parents to come between me and my wife!
Be it father, mother or relatives, they are only next to your wife. Parents or relatives should never take a short-cut to you avoiding your wife. You must make it plain to them that you and your wife stand together. How many homes are broken by in-laws and relatives. Three can never become one flesh. God in His own wisdom gave the commandment of separation even before there was a father or mother or father-in-law or mother- in-law. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife; and they will become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). Why “For this reason”? Because they two are one. Why the “and they”? Because cleaving comes only after leaving. This does not mean you should not love or honour them. Honour them, love them and leave them!
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me” (1 Cor 13:11).
If I were a husband, I will respect and love my wife’s parents!
Just as you love and honour your parents, love your wife’s too. Never quote the defects in her family. It will only boomerang. On the other hand the more concern and love you show toward them the more love you earn. Peter cared for his sick mother-in-law! Moses never hesitated to seek counsel from his father-in-law.
“The greatest is love” ( 1 Cor 13:13).
Finally, I will reminisce my marital vow now and then!
Your wife is not ‘just a wife’ but the “wife of your covenant” (Mal 2:14).
“ I take you to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love, cherish and protect till death us do part, according to God’s holy law; and to this I give you my
pledge.”
Sounds vaguely familiar, isn’t it? Repeat it every wedding anniversary and it will never fade away from your memory.
To summarise, Do you want your wife to treat you as a
KING ? Well, then treat her as the QUEEN!
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
This is just an echo of the number of tear-stained letters piled upon my table. The world is overflowing with practical talks for women. “Obey your husband as to the Lord,” rings from every corner. But no one bothers to interpret it for husbands as
husbands must be “as the Lord.” The winds of the four corners of the earth whiz, “Wife, obey your husband,” but not a breeze to speak to the unfair sex. The balance seems to be tilted. The pendulum swings unequally. If there is no interference I am
afraid 50% of world’s population will become dumb robots by this mesmerism. If only I were a husband…!
If I were a husband, I will love my wife!
Many husbands who were ‘good lovers’ before marriage became ‘gloomy husbands’ after marriage. Cannot a husband continue to be a lover? The ‘first love’ should only wax as the marital bliss wanes. The first exclamation of the first man on first seeing his
wife was not “wow!” but, “ This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” If you should love your neighbour as yourself, how much should you love your wife! Many loving husbands take it for granted that their wives know that they love them. Faith without works is dead! A wife enjoys outward expressions of love like a friendly pat or being called by a pet name. It means so much to her. You called her ‘dear’ or ‘darling’, before wedding. What do you call her today?
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her” (Eph 5:25).
“Love never fails” (1 Cor 13:8).
If I were a husband, I will trust my wife!
I will trust her with money, letters, secrets, etc. How sad to find homes with two purses. Some husbands even have secret closets! Don’t always look at your wife with coloured glasses. My husband’s trust on me has helped me to be more faithful with the
money and secrets. Suspicion is a cancer which will eat away your health and happiness. God’s chosen fast includes “not turning away from your own flesh and blood” (Isa 58:6,7). Genesis 2:25 means openness. Christ counted His bride trustworthy (1 Tim
1:12).
“Love ... always trusts” (1 Cor 13:7).
If I were a husband, I will be satisfied with my wife!
I will never compare my wife to so and so and complain. I will be satisfied with her appearance, intelligence, health, cooking, etc. Once a wife knows that her husband is satisfied with her, she will relax and improve. Often dinner table was flooded with tears because you said that your mother cooked better! Your wife is not as experienced a house-keeper as your mother. So never compare her to your mother. It is a very sensitive area for the wife. Better to reserve adverse comments for her good moods!
Many wives are put down by the husband’s
too frequent dissatisfied remarks and they lose hopes of improvement. When the love feels she is dark, the lover says she is all fair! (SS 1:5; 4:7).
“Love is not rude” (1 Cor 13:5).
If I were a husband, I will appreciate my wife!
When was the last time you appreciated your wife? Don’t immediately say, “There is nothing to appreciate.” “First love” started with appreciation. Isn’t it? Has she changed today? Many men pour out the defects of their wives. But we are yet to meet one
who is all praises for his wife. Yet in the same wives I have noticed many a charming quality. Do not be blinded by prejudices. Wives are not all that bad. Appreciation is tonic to build up her quality and you can literally measure her improvement.
Commendation is coal for the fire of love.
‘Thank you’ is never taken for granted by wives — for your information! Appreciate her good looks, her cooking, her washing, her ironing, etc. Praise God for your wife and you’ll see more of her good qualities.
“Love rejoices in the truth” (1 Cor 13:6).
If I were a husband, I will tolerate my wife!
Many of the defects in your wife might have come to light after marriage. So what? Don’t waste your time dreaming of a better person. No wife is better than your wife. She is not an angel. Do not condemn her. Set up an example yourself and by your loving
correction help her to grow out of it. After all you have your own defects. Give her a good allowance of time and she is sure to improve. Eve’s gluttony was revealed to Adam within a week of their marriage and that with a thunderbolt! Yet he lived with her for 930 years! He never kept on shouting at her, but soon forgave her. So I say, because after the tragedy he did not call her ‘Evil’ but ‘Eve’; not Mother of all Evil but Mother of all Living. ‘While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8).
“Love bears all things” (1 Cor 13:7).
If I were a husband, I will forgive my wife!
Many wives try to hide their mistakes from their husbands for fear of the husband’s reaction. It was by the forgiving spirit of Christ that His bride confesses all and gets right with Him. You should praise God for your wife’s mistakes, because if God
had created women as intelligent as men He could not have made you head of the home! So your wife’s mistakes are constant reminders of your eligibility for headship!
“Love endures all things” (1 Cor 13:7).
If I were a husband, I will understand my wife!
When my wife sheds tears, I will not shout at her. After all what authority is to the man, tears is to the woman. What you accomplish by authority the wife does by her tears. Tears are soundless agents to say, “I need someone to understand me.” Hannah
“wept, and did not eat” (1 Sam1 ). If Elkanah were a 20th century husband he would have shouted, “Now look here, this is what I don’t like about you. God has given you this cross to bear and no use trying to cry it out. Go and pray about it, live with Peninah in peace and leave me in peace.” No, Elkanah was an understanding husband. When he recognized that she had a problem in the home, he showed her extra love. He even served her food and that with a generous touch. How that simple act of kindness would have touched Hannah’s heart. When she wept, the first thing he did was to find out, the reason, “Why do you weep?” What tenderness in tone! “Hannah, why?” Many husbands have the air of, “It’s her own problem. She has to get over it.” Or, “She’ll be alright tomorrow.” But remember your wife uses her tears to catch your eye.
When Hannah confided in him, his next question was, “Why do you not eat?” Some husbands hardly ever know if the wife has had her food. But how understanding Elkanah was! He sat with her, found out the reason for her blues, coaxed her to have food,
consoled her and comforted her. “So Hannah rose up!” He could not solve the problem. He could not go to Peninah and chide her. But just by taking time to wipe the tears he had a happy wife. Such a husband is really worth “ten sons!”
When your wife announces that she is leaving for her mother’s, don’t shudder or immediately pack her off or have the “ What-you-do-do-quickly” attitude. Feel at ease. It is just another language to say, “ I have something to tell you, if you will
listen.” Be sensitive to her needs. God knows your frame and treats you accordingly (Psa 103:14).
“Love is kind”(1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will encourage my wife!
Really surprising to see that many husbands do not like to see better qualities in wives than in themselves. Your wife is not your bitter half but better half! If only you give her an encouraging word, she will shine in her field. Condemnation kills. Encouragement plants the seed and waters the seedling. It is said that behind every successful man is a woman. I will say, behind every successful woman is a man. Your wife is not a dignified cook. If you do not value her abilities, you are getting only 50% out of your arriage. God has given only
50% in your hands however superman you may be and the other 50% is in your wife’s hand. Why waste it? When others appreciate your wife, praise the Lord and enjoy the credit. Woman is the glory of man and if you just give her a helping hand up, she will be a crown for you ( 1 Cor 11:7; Prov 12:4).
“Love does not envy” ( 1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will spend time with my wife!
Misunderstandings easily creep in if you do not spend time with your wife. The more time you spend together, smoother will be your life (and wife). Have a listening ear. The love plant which flourished in the first few months of marriage might have
withered because of the heat of the home atmosphere. But love never dies. Attempt to revive it. In the early years of our marriage when we went through strenuous periods we set apart one evening a week for a stroll. It worked miracles! Often husbands
screen off matters and share only what is necessary for the wife (which is often nil). Wives expect to hear a lot from you when you are back from the office. My husband even tells me what was wrong with the bike and in which part and what he did about
it. Though I don’t understand ABC of it I enjoy listening to him and think he’s a hero for it! He yells for me when he hits at a new thought in the Bible or gets me out of the house to watch a lazy bird. Communication gap is the consumer of home life.
Chat heals wounds. How the husband longs for the companionship of his wife, awakes her out of sleep and calls her out to the garden to watch the flowers and birds, the turtle and fruit trees! (SS 2:10-14). Whatever you may call her, God calls your wife, your “companion” (Mal 2:14).
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal” (
1 Cor 13:1).
If I were a husband, I will take my wife out!
Your mind is fully occupied with office work in the office and your wife’s is full of house work in the house. You relax by coming out of your office. Your wife? An outing now and then is a must for her. It is not at all a waste of time as some think
(especially those in ministry). You will soon discover that your wife is more ready now to share your worries and burdens. Avoid too frequent outings without your wife.
“Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages” (SS 7:11).
If I were a husband, I will buy gifts for my wife!
Now don’t throw stones at me. A gift may vary from a rose to a sari. But it is the love behind it. How we wives love the giver (though most often he brings something we don’t like!) The Lord Jesus Christ ascended on high, led captivity captive and brought gifts for His bride (Psa 68:18). Can’t you buy a yard of jasmine down the road or a handkerchief occasionally? It assures her that she is in your thoughts.
“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries
and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing” ( 1 Cor 13:2).
If I were a husband, I will help my wife!
Do not draw a strict line between your work and your wife’s. Changing a wet nappy for your baby is not below your dignity. When guests arrive you can find my husband rolling chappatis. It is not so much the help he does ( he is more of a nuisance in the
kitchen!), but his care for me adds strength to my health. Biblically speaking, the father should carry the baby! (Num 11:12; Dt 1:31). But I have seen many a husband giving a cold stare to the wife when the baby screams. Even if you come home tired,
the transformation witnessed in your wife is worth changing 100 nappies!
“Love is not self seeking” (1 Cor 13:5).
If I were a husband, I will make my wife feel wanted!
In many homes wives are non-entities. In such homes I have noticed the dull expression of the wife ready to run away. Only when she runs away you’ll feel the need of her. No one can fill a wife’s place. Make her feel wanted. Don’t be ashamed to tell her
that you cannot manage without her. The confession will not harden her but only soften. She needs it and deserves it. Tell her how much you missed her when she was away. It is so soothing to a woman who naturally craves for recognition.
“Love does not boast” (1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will respect my wife!
All wives are not Eves. Why are we branded so? Just because some woman disobeyed ages ago we carry a stigma.
Even when Adam tried to throw the blame on Eve, God never accepted it, because Adam had his share. Don’t always turn a deaf ear to your wife’s counsel. All that comes from a woman is not bad. Did not God tell Abraham, “Listen to whatever Sarah tells you
?” (Gen 21:12). Did not God choose to speak to Manoah’s wife twice in spite of ‘his’ earnest prayer? (Judg 13). Did not Mrs. Isaiah prophesy? (Isa 8:3). Did not Adam accept the name given to their sons by Eve? (Gen 4:25;5:3).
Show your respect to her by accepting her good suggestions. Husbands have a lurking complex that they come down from their headship if they accept their wife’s proposals. Never so! God has given you a wife as a “helper” ‘to help you’ in all the areas of
life. Husband and wife are complementary, not contradictory. Never hesitate to accept when she supplies what you lack. Is she not your missing rib?
Every important decision should be taken by the husband and wife together. Though she may not come out with constructive ideas. it will do you no harm to ask her opinion. Many wives say that decisions come from their husbands as bolts from the blue!
“I-am-sorry” is a magic word which boosts her respect for you. Never hesitate to accept your faults.
“Love is not proud” ( 1 Cor 13:4).
If I were a husband, I will never let down my wife!
Thoughtlessly many husbands let their wives down badly in the presence of relatives and friends. I have noticed many a fallen face of wives. My heart goes out to them because they are like creepers without a support. True, she has weaknesses. But don’t
you think you are the only person on whom she can lean? Do not undermine her confidence in you by degrading her before others. She will then nurture a secret fear everytime she meets your friends or relatives that you would expose her weaknesses and that leads to a vicious circle. It is hard for you to kick against your rib. When I got married I was shocked to find my husband speaking so high of me in his circle. That has literally scared me off many of my shortcomings and helped me to live up to his hopes! Christ confesses His bride before His Father and angels! (Rev 3:5).
“Love does not delight in evil” (1 Cor 13:6).
If I were a husband, I will never allow my parents to come between me and my wife!
Be it father, mother or relatives, they are only next to your wife. Parents or relatives should never take a short-cut to you avoiding your wife. You must make it plain to them that you and your wife stand together. How many homes are broken by in-laws and relatives. Three can never become one flesh. God in His own wisdom gave the commandment of separation even before there was a father or mother or father-in-law or mother- in-law. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife; and they will become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). Why “For this reason”? Because they two are one. Why the “and they”? Because cleaving comes only after leaving. This does not mean you should not love or honour them. Honour them, love them and leave them!
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me” (1 Cor 13:11).
If I were a husband, I will respect and love my wife’s parents!
Just as you love and honour your parents, love your wife’s too. Never quote the defects in her family. It will only boomerang. On the other hand the more concern and love you show toward them the more love you earn. Peter cared for his sick mother-in-law! Moses never hesitated to seek counsel from his father-in-law.
“The greatest is love” ( 1 Cor 13:13).
Finally, I will reminisce my marital vow now and then!
Your wife is not ‘just a wife’ but the “wife of your covenant” (Mal 2:14).
“ I take you to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love, cherish and protect till death us do part, according to God’s holy law; and to this I give you my
pledge.”
Sounds vaguely familiar, isn’t it? Repeat it every wedding anniversary and it will never fade away from your memory.
To summarise, Do you want your wife to treat you as a
KING ? Well, then treat her as the QUEEN!
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
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Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
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