My mind races back to the day when I whimpered, “I am a failure; I’m a total failure in life.” My daughter chided, “Mummy, if you are a failure, who is a success?” My daughter’s question lingered in my heart. People think I am a success. Then why do I think I’m a failure? I want to share with you the thoughts that tumbled through my head as I pondered this question. I will divide it into two parts — A) Is my life a failure? B) How to make a success story of my life. Come along with me.
Life is a deep sea experience. In Matthew 8:23-27 we read about Jesus calming the sea. There is a similar story in the Old Testament. It is good to read it as an introduction –
“Others went out on the sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters. They saw the works of the Lord, His wonderful deeds in the deep. For He spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves. They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril their courage melted away. They reeled and staggered like drunken men; they were at their wits end. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whishper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and He guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men. Let them exalt Him in the assembly of the people and praise Him in the counsil of the elders” (Psa 107:23-32).
The scene is pandemonium. It is in such experiences that we see God’s wonderful works. It is He who stirrs up the storm. We pull our hair and go mad under the circumstances. But when we call on Him, He calms the sea and makes us stand triumphantly as witnesses for Him!
A) Why do I see my life as a failure?
1. I see only the negatives. I fail to see the positives. The human mind is tuned to focus on the negatives. Very few have an obstinately positive attitude. Out of the 12 spies who went into Canaan 10 saw the black dot on a broad sheet of white paper. Only 2 saw the large white area surrounding the black dot. It was a grand day of celebration for David’s army. But David was weeping. He could not see that his life, his family and people were saved. His mind was set on grieving for his son Absalom. Don’t see just the storm; see the boat, oars, helpers and most of all God. That will put us on a sound footing. I might have treated 100 patients successfully but if one patient dies I think I’m an absolute misfit in the profession. Instead I should accept that I’m not God to be perfect and praise God for the way He has used me. There are bad moments in life.. .nightmares. But we also enjoy good ones, heavenly bliss. This is what makes it worth sticking it out. I remember a poem —
Count your blessings
instead of your crosses,
Count your gains
instead of your losses.
Count your joys
instead of your woes,
Count your friends
instead of your foes.
Count your smiles
instead of your tears,
Count your courage
instead of your fears.
Count your full years
instead of your lean,
Count your kind deeds
instead of your mean.
Count your health
instead of your wealth,
Count on God
instead of yourself!
2. Daily I encounter some problem or failure. It may be a daily cross for me. Some women have to hear negative comments about their cooking or figure from their husbands. Some men may daily face a niggling wife or irritable boss who pounces on them at the drop of a hat. Each such pinprick infuriates us and spoils the whole day. Instead we should learn to bounce back immediately. Learn to take things lightheartedly. You might have failed in 1st std, 10th std, B.A. and M.A. Add up all the failures and you’ll see how far you have come in life. “I have failed over and over again in my life. And that’s why I succeed” said Michael Jordan. What words of wisdom! The more often you get knocked down the more experience you get in picking yourself up. “A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out, till He leads justice to victory” (Mt 12:20). You may feel like a bruised reed or a smoldering wick. May be you feel you are left with no leg to stand on. But just be just in all that you do and He will carry you through to victory. Don’t keep worrying about the water inside the boat. Keep emptying it. Put the past behind your back and continue keeping one foot in front of the other. It is never too late to make a fresh start.
3. I don’t wait for the end. We decide on immediate happenings. We keep looking at the rocking boat. Ecclesiastes says in 3:1 that there is a time for everyting. In verse eleven we read, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Joseph ended up in prison on death row in Pharaoh’s jail but “the Lord was with him” (Gen 39:2 1). In Genesis 40:1 we read, “some time later...” Genesis 41:1 starts as, “When two full years had passed...” So it was a progressive story. Life is a progressive development.
I used to worry about missionary children sent to hostels. But when I see them today brightly married and in good jobs, I praise the Lord. Life is a book. Very few books are tragedies. Most are comedies. You won’t read the conclusion of a novel to start with, will you? Then you’ll lose all interest. The twists and the turns beautify the plot ending in a climax. That’s life.
What happened in prison? Joseph’s luck began to turn. At rock bottom, languishing in jail, the king released Joseph and made him master of his household and ruler over all he possessed. He instructed Pharaoh’s princes as he pleased and taught his elders wisdom (Psa 105:18-22). So in each situation God is testing you so you can teach others. Be faithful in small things like Joseph. Let your cooking, money management, time management, tongue management and everything be scrupulous. When Jesus rocks your boat it culminates in testimony like the seafarers.
4. I believe what others say about me and get depressed. Jesus told the Canaanite woman that He would not throw the children’s bread to dogs. You and I would have been hurt and cleared the spot instantly. But she was not to be defeated. She said, “Yes Lord, I’m a dog. Give me my share.” She won the debate. We are swayed so easily by other’s comments. Respond to criticism without losing your cool. Take comments postively. Learn to correct yourself. Analyse and improve. Be alert to see how others react to you and rectify yourself where necessary. In a heated argument my daughter said that I’ve got a sharp tongue. At first I argued. But then I started to pray everyday to God to mellow down my words. Even if we try our level best somebody will keep finding fault with us. Don’t worry. You don’t have to be a Barbie doll! Even Jesus was criticized. Just keep working on yourself. Graciously ignore insults.
I hope you know the story of the old donkey whose master wanted to bury. He dug a deep pit, pushed the donkey in and kept throwing mud, only to find the donkey walk out of the pit. As soon as a shovel of mud fell on him he would climb up on it and thus walked free! If we learn this principle we have cut off atleast one tentacle of a gigantic octopus that is eating us.
If you have difficulty climbing out of your depression, go for a check-up. It could be something physical.
5. I fail to look at myself from God’s perspective. “Everyone born of God overcomes the world: This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith” (1 Jn 5:4). God sees us as Victors and Overcomers, not as failures. Each trial in life is a test of faith. Learn a lesson in each trial. If your wife gets angry and goes to her parents the temptation is to leave her. But God has commanded you to love her. If your husband doesn’t apologise, humble yourself and take the initiative. Each small victory leads to a battle won. Let not God see you as, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” But see you as faith-full ones! (Mt 8:26).
6. I fail to see myself from eternity perspective. “... those who had been victorious over the beast and his image...” (Rev 15:2). That’s our future. Victorious! Any trial must remind us of our future and encourage us. Don’t think of your life on earth as the end in itself. Life here is just a dot compared to eternity. The disciples screamed, “We’re going to drown.” They forgot that Jesus said, “Let’s go to the other shore.” Row your boat, keep rowing it merrily down the stream; ’cause life is just a dream. Before you know it, you’ll be standing on the other shore victoriously, playing your harp.
7. I have my own scale. “The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are His delight” (Prov 11:1). I must learn to measure myself and others with God’s scale. Our judgment may be fallacious. A wife who is a failure in one area may be super in another sphere. A husband who doesn’t appreciate you may take you out often. So don’t judge by one or two aspects. Avoid blanket statements. Don’t quickly come to the conclusion that you are bad or a person is bad. You don’t know him yet. So make love your lifestyle. God loved and accepted Tom, Dick and Harry. Let us walk in His footsteps. Judging others or myself with the scale I have created can lead to bitterness and hatred. It may be based on unsound reasoning. Your life is not a failure! It is not enough to conclude that your life is not a failure. You must make it a grand success.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
My mind races back to the day when I whimpered, “I am a failure; I’m a total failure in life.” My daughter chided, “Mummy, if you are a failure, who is a success?” My daughter’s question lingered in my heart. People think I am a success. Then why do I think I’m a failure? I want to share with you the thoughts that tumbled through my head as I pondered this question. I will divide it into two parts — A) Is my life a failure? B) How to make a success story of my life. Come along with me.
Life is a deep sea experience. In Matthew 8:23-27 we read about Jesus calming the sea. There is a similar story in the Old Testament. It is good to read it as an introduction –
“Others went out on the sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters. They saw the works of the Lord, His wonderful deeds in the deep. For He spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves. They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril their courage melted away. They reeled and staggered like drunken men; they were at their wits end. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whishper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and He guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men. Let them exalt Him in the assembly of the people and praise Him in the counsil of the elders” (Psa 107:23-32).
The scene is pandemonium. It is in such experiences that we see God’s wonderful works. It is He who stirrs up the storm. We pull our hair and go mad under the circumstances. But when we call on Him, He calms the sea and makes us stand triumphantly as witnesses for Him!
A) Why do I see my life as a failure?
1. I see only the negatives. I fail to see the positives. The human mind is tuned to focus on the negatives. Very few have an obstinately positive attitude. Out of the 12 spies who went into Canaan 10 saw the black dot on a broad sheet of white paper. Only 2 saw the large white area surrounding the black dot. It was a grand day of celebration for David’s army. But David was weeping. He could not see that his life, his family and people were saved. His mind was set on grieving for his son Absalom. Don’t see just the storm; see the boat, oars, helpers and most of all God. That will put us on a sound footing. I might have treated 100 patients successfully but if one patient dies I think I’m an absolute misfit in the profession. Instead I should accept that I’m not God to be perfect and praise God for the way He has used me. There are bad moments in life.. .nightmares. But we also enjoy good ones, heavenly bliss. This is what makes it worth sticking it out. I remember a poem —
Count your blessings
instead of your crosses,
Count your gains
instead of your losses.
Count your joys
instead of your woes,
Count your friends
instead of your foes.
Count your smiles
instead of your tears,
Count your courage
instead of your fears.
Count your full years
instead of your lean,
Count your kind deeds
instead of your mean.
Count your health
instead of your wealth,
Count on God
instead of yourself!
2. Daily I encounter some problem or failure. It may be a daily cross for me. Some women have to hear negative comments about their cooking or figure from their husbands. Some men may daily face a niggling wife or irritable boss who pounces on them at the drop of a hat. Each such pinprick infuriates us and spoils the whole day. Instead we should learn to bounce back immediately. Learn to take things lightheartedly. You might have failed in 1st std, 10th std, B.A. and M.A. Add up all the failures and you’ll see how far you have come in life. “I have failed over and over again in my life. And that’s why I succeed” said Michael Jordan. What words of wisdom! The more often you get knocked down the more experience you get in picking yourself up. “A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out, till He leads justice to victory” (Mt 12:20). You may feel like a bruised reed or a smoldering wick. May be you feel you are left with no leg to stand on. But just be just in all that you do and He will carry you through to victory. Don’t keep worrying about the water inside the boat. Keep emptying it. Put the past behind your back and continue keeping one foot in front of the other. It is never too late to make a fresh start.
3. I don’t wait for the end. We decide on immediate happenings. We keep looking at the rocking boat. Ecclesiastes says in 3:1 that there is a time for everyting. In verse eleven we read, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Joseph ended up in prison on death row in Pharaoh’s jail but “the Lord was with him” (Gen 39:2 1). In Genesis 40:1 we read, “some time later...” Genesis 41:1 starts as, “When two full years had passed...” So it was a progressive story. Life is a progressive development.
I used to worry about missionary children sent to hostels. But when I see them today brightly married and in good jobs, I praise the Lord. Life is a book. Very few books are tragedies. Most are comedies. You won’t read the conclusion of a novel to start with, will you? Then you’ll lose all interest. The twists and the turns beautify the plot ending in a climax. That’s life.
What happened in prison? Joseph’s luck began to turn. At rock bottom, languishing in jail, the king released Joseph and made him master of his household and ruler over all he possessed. He instructed Pharaoh’s princes as he pleased and taught his elders wisdom (Psa 105:18-22). So in each situation God is testing you so you can teach others. Be faithful in small things like Joseph. Let your cooking, money management, time management, tongue management and everything be scrupulous. When Jesus rocks your boat it culminates in testimony like the seafarers.
4. I believe what others say about me and get depressed. Jesus told the Canaanite woman that He would not throw the children’s bread to dogs. You and I would have been hurt and cleared the spot instantly. But she was not to be defeated. She said, “Yes Lord, I’m a dog. Give me my share.” She won the debate. We are swayed so easily by other’s comments. Respond to criticism without losing your cool. Take comments postively. Learn to correct yourself. Analyse and improve. Be alert to see how others react to you and rectify yourself where necessary. In a heated argument my daughter said that I’ve got a sharp tongue. At first I argued. But then I started to pray everyday to God to mellow down my words. Even if we try our level best somebody will keep finding fault with us. Don’t worry. You don’t have to be a Barbie doll! Even Jesus was criticized. Just keep working on yourself. Graciously ignore insults.
I hope you know the story of the old donkey whose master wanted to bury. He dug a deep pit, pushed the donkey in and kept throwing mud, only to find the donkey walk out of the pit. As soon as a shovel of mud fell on him he would climb up on it and thus walked free! If we learn this principle we have cut off atleast one tentacle of a gigantic octopus that is eating us.
If you have difficulty climbing out of your depression, go for a check-up. It could be something physical.
5. I fail to look at myself from God’s perspective. “Everyone born of God overcomes the world: This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith” (1 Jn 5:4). God sees us as Victors and Overcomers, not as failures. Each trial in life is a test of faith. Learn a lesson in each trial. If your wife gets angry and goes to her parents the temptation is to leave her. But God has commanded you to love her. If your husband doesn’t apologise, humble yourself and take the initiative. Each small victory leads to a battle won. Let not God see you as, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” But see you as faith-full ones! (Mt 8:26).
6. I fail to see myself from eternity perspective. “... those who had been victorious over the beast and his image...” (Rev 15:2). That’s our future. Victorious! Any trial must remind us of our future and encourage us. Don’t think of your life on earth as the end in itself. Life here is just a dot compared to eternity. The disciples screamed, “We’re going to drown.” They forgot that Jesus said, “Let’s go to the other shore.” Row your boat, keep rowing it merrily down the stream; ’cause life is just a dream. Before you know it, you’ll be standing on the other shore victoriously, playing your harp.
7. I have my own scale. “The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are His delight” (Prov 11:1). I must learn to measure myself and others with God’s scale. Our judgment may be fallacious. A wife who is a failure in one area may be super in another sphere. A husband who doesn’t appreciate you may take you out often. So don’t judge by one or two aspects. Avoid blanket statements. Don’t quickly come to the conclusion that you are bad or a person is bad. You don’t know him yet. So make love your lifestyle. God loved and accepted Tom, Dick and Harry. Let us walk in His footsteps. Judging others or myself with the scale I have created can lead to bitterness and hatred. It may be based on unsound reasoning. Your life is not a failure! It is not enough to conclude that your life is not a failure. You must make it a grand success.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
