(Continuation)
Reading: Luke 2:41-52
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children;
bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4)
Another lesson we learn too late in life —
Develop relationship before demanding obedience. Girls become rebellious when they turn ten or even earlier. They want to have their way rather than walk the way parents chart for them. This shocks their parents who then handle them with iron fists in reaction. This leads to a lot of unpleasantness, quarrels, tears and bitterness in the family. Instead, children should try a loving approach. Stop shouting at your parents and start giving them gifts. Instead of rebelling, ask for a time to sit and talk to them. Tell them that you crave for their love and understanding and how you expect to be treated. Promise them that you’ll try to obey them if they treat you gently. But just keep showing them your love in some way or other in spite of the way they treat you. That will improve your relationship tremendously and ease the situation. Relationship comes first and when that is set right, everything else falls in place. If you learn this principle early, life will be smoother for you.
Parents should also understand that demand for obedience without relationship backfires. A child who has not seen or felt or understood your love will only rebel at your commands. Think of what you say to your child from morning till night: “Get up, it’s time for school. Don’t be so lazy, get ready quickly.” “Don’t be snobbish.” “You demand everything but in studies you are a donkey.” That is morning for the child. The child is free from your abuses at least for 8 hours! When she comes home, again the harassment starts: “Why are you late?” “Why is your mark so low?” “Go, wash your face and sit for your studies.” “You will never come up in life,” etc, etc.
Instead, why don’t you forget about disciplining the child for a while and learn to speak in a honey tone. Be happy with the child, play, joke, appreciate, praise. Your son or daughter will be suspicious at the beginning but will gradually learn to trust you and respond to your love. Growing children have their own emotional problems. Try to be more understanding.
When your relationship improves, gradually and lovingly start giving counsel — one at a time, once a day. You will be surprised to see the way they flower when you bend down and lift them up.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
(Continuation)
Reading: Luke 2:41-52
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children;
bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4)
Another lesson we learn too late in life —
Develop relationship before demanding obedience. Girls become rebellious when they turn ten or even earlier. They want to have their way rather than walk the way parents chart for them. This shocks their parents who then handle them with iron fists in reaction. This leads to a lot of unpleasantness, quarrels, tears and bitterness in the family. Instead, children should try a loving approach. Stop shouting at your parents and start giving them gifts. Instead of rebelling, ask for a time to sit and talk to them. Tell them that you crave for their love and understanding and how you expect to be treated. Promise them that you’ll try to obey them if they treat you gently. But just keep showing them your love in some way or other in spite of the way they treat you. That will improve your relationship tremendously and ease the situation. Relationship comes first and when that is set right, everything else falls in place. If you learn this principle early, life will be smoother for you.
Parents should also understand that demand for obedience without relationship backfires. A child who has not seen or felt or understood your love will only rebel at your commands. Think of what you say to your child from morning till night: “Get up, it’s time for school. Don’t be so lazy, get ready quickly.” “Don’t be snobbish.” “You demand everything but in studies you are a donkey.” That is morning for the child. The child is free from your abuses at least for 8 hours! When she comes home, again the harassment starts: “Why are you late?” “Why is your mark so low?” “Go, wash your face and sit for your studies.” “You will never come up in life,” etc, etc.
Instead, why don’t you forget about disciplining the child for a while and learn to speak in a honey tone. Be happy with the child, play, joke, appreciate, praise. Your son or daughter will be suspicious at the beginning but will gradually learn to trust you and respond to your love. Growing children have their own emotional problems. Try to be more understanding.
When your relationship improves, gradually and lovingly start giving counsel — one at a time, once a day. You will be surprised to see the way they flower when you bend down and lift them up.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
