Assertive Husbands & Wives
Reading: Ephesians 5:21-33
“The wife must respect her husband” (Eph 5:33).
“Husbands ... be considerate as you live with your wives,
and treat them with respect” (1 Pet 3:7)
The secret of a successful married life is mutual respect. Assertiveness says, “You respect me and I respect you.” It is being careful not to abuse one another or cross the boundary. They must learn to draw the boundary line. Many wives get beaten up because they never learned to do this. Choose a senior couple who can help you. Then when your husband lifts his hand to hit you, stand tall, look him in the eye and boldly say that you are going to tell the couple or your pastor. If he doesn’t care, then go ahead and do it.
When one goes through difficult times, often common sense flies out of the window. For example, many wives feel guilty for what is not their fault. Analyse the situation and see what led to the situation and because of whom. Put responsibility where it belongs. Don’t let somebody make you feel guilty for what is not your fault. The husband may say, “It is because of you that I turned to drinks.” It is a blame game.
As much as husband and wife should have one-ness of mind, they should have two-ness of mind too. Never hesitate to disagree politely. Peter asked Sapphira, “How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord?” Abraham agreed with Sarah and brought forth Ishmael.
In the Song of Solomon the husband describes the Shulamite as, “Fair as the moon.” That is the harmless dove aspect. She is cool, calm, submissive and pleasant. “Clear as the sun,” is the serpent aspect. It is clarity of mind and heart. The Bible speaks of ‘sound mind’ (NKJV) and the ability to discern. It is the “terrible as an army” (NKJV) aspect (SS 6:10). Assertiveness is not always pleasant. It scorches like the sun but preserves. That is the snake quality to react and fight to save your God-given rights. Family is one such right.
As much as a wife should be assertive, she should also learn not to cross the boundary. Or else she will cut a sorry face. Don’t be abusive and test your husband’s patience. You must respect his leadership and be submissive. Do not push him to do things that are not right. He has the right to lead and to make mistakes and learn from his mistakes. That doesn’t make him any less. Allow him to be his own self and fulfil his calling in life.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
Assertive Husbands & Wives
Reading: Ephesians 5:21-33
“The wife must respect her husband” (Eph 5:33).
“Husbands ... be considerate as you live with your wives,
and treat them with respect” (1 Pet 3:7)
The secret of a successful married life is mutual respect. Assertiveness says, “You respect me and I respect you.” It is being careful not to abuse one another or cross the boundary. They must learn to draw the boundary line. Many wives get beaten up because they never learned to do this. Choose a senior couple who can help you. Then when your husband lifts his hand to hit you, stand tall, look him in the eye and boldly say that you are going to tell the couple or your pastor. If he doesn’t care, then go ahead and do it.
When one goes through difficult times, often common sense flies out of the window. For example, many wives feel guilty for what is not their fault. Analyse the situation and see what led to the situation and because of whom. Put responsibility where it belongs. Don’t let somebody make you feel guilty for what is not your fault. The husband may say, “It is because of you that I turned to drinks.” It is a blame game.
As much as husband and wife should have one-ness of mind, they should have two-ness of mind too. Never hesitate to disagree politely. Peter asked Sapphira, “How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord?” Abraham agreed with Sarah and brought forth Ishmael.
In the Song of Solomon the husband describes the Shulamite as, “Fair as the moon.” That is the harmless dove aspect. She is cool, calm, submissive and pleasant. “Clear as the sun,” is the serpent aspect. It is clarity of mind and heart. The Bible speaks of ‘sound mind’ (NKJV) and the ability to discern. It is the “terrible as an army” (NKJV) aspect (SS 6:10). Assertiveness is not always pleasant. It scorches like the sun but preserves. That is the snake quality to react and fight to save your God-given rights. Family is one such right.
As much as a wife should be assertive, she should also learn not to cross the boundary. Or else she will cut a sorry face. Don’t be abusive and test your husband’s patience. You must respect his leadership and be submissive. Do not push him to do things that are not right. He has the right to lead and to make mistakes and learn from his mistakes. That doesn’t make him any less. Allow him to be his own self and fulfil his calling in life.
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
