War in the Love Zone!
Reading: Judges 13:6-22
Zipporah said, “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me” (Ex 4:25)
Women have difficulty understanding why they hate the man they love. Misunderstanding creeps in at all times that it becomes difficult to have even normal conversation without fireworks. Sometimes they decide not to talk to avoid confrontation. We fight like Zipporah because we do not know how to argue or discuss. Fights cannot be avoided but can be kept short and soft.
The first step to take is to avoid topics that will blow the coals. For example, negative comments about the husband’s family can blow his top. Instead finding something good to say about his family can go a long way in cementing your relationship. Another thing you can do is to listen. Most often we keep thinking about what to say next that the husband’s words enter one ear and exit through the other. There may be some sense in what he says. Consider it before you reply or say at least, “I’ll think about it.”
If it is not a very big issue, give in to your husband’s argument. There is no point in fighting over which place to go for a holiday. If you sacrifice your desire for his choice, you will have a happy peaceful, enjoyable holiday. I have seen women fighting over very small issues, making life miserable for the husband and children. Keep your emotions cool. Never raise your voice. Keep your voice soft and gentle. I like the way Manoah’s wife related (Judg 13: 22,23). Don’t argue when you are angry. Put off the discussion for a time when both of you are cooler and saner, like Abigail (1 Sam 25:36,37). Silence could be a good peacemaker if handled intelligently. If you sense that your husband is in no mood to listen but is shouting, then just be silent and listen to him. You can postpone your point of view to a later date prayerfully.
Do not react. “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Eph 4:26). Avoid using bad words, threatening or going out to the street with your argument. Do not talk about divorce in a heated argument. Wounds do not heal easily and so we must be careful not to hurt the other person in a fight.
After the argument, come back to normal as early as possible. Let your smile be back. Watch some comedy together or go out to the park and discuss a pleasant subject. Let there be love in the war zone!
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
War in the Love Zone!
Reading: Judges 13:6-22
Zipporah said, “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me” (Ex 4:25)
Women have difficulty understanding why they hate the man they love. Misunderstanding creeps in at all times that it becomes difficult to have even normal conversation without fireworks. Sometimes they decide not to talk to avoid confrontation. We fight like Zipporah because we do not know how to argue or discuss. Fights cannot be avoided but can be kept short and soft.
The first step to take is to avoid topics that will blow the coals. For example, negative comments about the husband’s family can blow his top. Instead finding something good to say about his family can go a long way in cementing your relationship. Another thing you can do is to listen. Most often we keep thinking about what to say next that the husband’s words enter one ear and exit through the other. There may be some sense in what he says. Consider it before you reply or say at least, “I’ll think about it.”
If it is not a very big issue, give in to your husband’s argument. There is no point in fighting over which place to go for a holiday. If you sacrifice your desire for his choice, you will have a happy peaceful, enjoyable holiday. I have seen women fighting over very small issues, making life miserable for the husband and children. Keep your emotions cool. Never raise your voice. Keep your voice soft and gentle. I like the way Manoah’s wife related (Judg 13: 22,23). Don’t argue when you are angry. Put off the discussion for a time when both of you are cooler and saner, like Abigail (1 Sam 25:36,37). Silence could be a good peacemaker if handled intelligently. If you sense that your husband is in no mood to listen but is shouting, then just be silent and listen to him. You can postpone your point of view to a later date prayerfully.
Do not react. “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Eph 4:26). Avoid using bad words, threatening or going out to the street with your argument. Do not talk about divorce in a heated argument. Wounds do not heal easily and so we must be careful not to hurt the other person in a fight.
After the argument, come back to normal as early as possible. Let your smile be back. Watch some comedy together or go out to the park and discuss a pleasant subject. Let there be love in the war zone!
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
