My dear sister,
I trust you are well. I need your help. Mala failed her exams and had to face her father’s fury. She has taken it very badly. She has shut herself in her room in sullen fearful silence. Perhaps you can talk to her. She may listen to you. I’ll be very grateful if you can come.
Thanking you.
Yours sincerely, Mrs. Lal
I had never expected Mala to throw aside my advice. Had I taken too much for granted? Desperate, helpless and anxious thoughts chased each other in my mind as my feet raced up the stairs to Mala’s room. I gently opened the door. Poor thing! She was in bed, her face buried in her pillow.
“Mala.”
There was self-pity, anger, resentment, self-reproach and above all - questions in her face.
“I can’t face anyone anymore! Why is God trying me like this?” She sobbed convulsively. “I’ve messed up my life. Give me a shot and kill me or tell me what I should do to commit suicide.”
“Nonsense, Listen now. Suicide is not that simple. Forget it chick. Life is a gift from God. Suicide is a one way ticket to hell. There’s no hope at the other end. You can’t come back to this world either. Hope is life’s handle. If that is broken, life cannot be handled. Never lose hope. Failure in exam is not failure in life. Don’t give up. Get up Mala. Wash your face and come. Let’s then talk.”
I waited patiently till she had calmed herself and was ready to listen. “Don’t be a coward Mala. You must face life. Let’s try to solve your problem. How did you fail? You didn’t study. Right? Then why blame God? God has promised to bless us according to our works. How can you expect God to bless you when you have not put in enough effort?
“There is no use crying over spilt milk. What you badly need now is rest and relaxation. Sleep off.”
“My mind is tortured.”
“I can understand Mala. Come let’s then sing and pray.”
She chose the song and we started.
When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost...
The song seemed to invade her every fibre. She was composed after the prayer and I promised to visit her the following week.
The next week...
A calm Mala received me and took me up to her room. My eyes roved around the room.
“Your room looks like a pig sty.”
“And I am a pig?”
“No, no, you are an angel living in a pig sty. A lazy angel. Get to work. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you look around, you’ll find so much to do that there’ll be no time to dream or get bored.”
I didn’t really expect her to swirl around. But to my surprise she did.
“Make your bed. Look at the pillow cover- bah! Stained with oil!” I removed it and put it to my nose and she jerked it out of my hand.
“Change it. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Don’t you daily sweep your room? Clean the table, put on a table cloth and arrange your books.”
Without a word we worked together and in a few minutes her room looked fit to live in!
“That’s much better. Now look at yourself! Didn’t you comb your hair? Didn’t you have a bath?”
“Oh....uh, I was about to go.”
“Don’t you bluff young lady. What a bad shape you are in at eight in the morning! What time do you wake up?”
“Seven.” She shifted uncomfortably.
“No good. Haven’t you read what the Book of Proverbs has to say about laziness? “Do not oversleep, lest you come to poverty.” You must be up by five. Brush your teeth, have a wash, comb your hair, powder your face and sing a song. You’ll feel fresh. Then read the Bible and pray. I am not surprised about your results. God does not help the slothful. Go. Have a bath and come.”
“Aunty, I don’t want to keep you waiting.”
“Aha, how you care for me. Go, go quick.”
Mala had a bath and combed her hair. I took the lice comb and started combing her hair as I talked.
“Mala, I think you should take up some household chores upon yourself. That will not lower your ‘respectability’ as some girls think. Knowing the art of running a home well will be a great and valuable asset to you in the future. Right now your mother will be grateful for your help. Studies is not everything in life. Can you cook?”
“A little...”
“Little what?”
“Mm...fry pappads.”
“Great. What else?”
“And...boil eggs.”
“Terrific ya, you ought to be given a Ph. D!
“Mala, I am looking into your future. A girl who cannot cook tastily cannot be too attractive to the husband. Girls should be girls.”
“Aunty, you must be a terrific cook.”
“Far from it. I suffer for it now. That’s why I am telling you to take it seriously.”
“I’ll do Aunty.” She tilted her head to a side and gave me a quizzical look, as if she was looking into my personal life.
“Please for goodness sake do that. There are a host of things you can do...cook, sew, wash, clean, read, write, tend the garden, draw, paint, according to the aptitudes God has given you... and keep your hair lice free.”
Mala was ready with an answer. “In our house only mummy and the maid do the household chores. I will be teased if I start...”
“For sometime. Then they’ll mind their own business. And don’t sleep in the afternoons like a log.”
“Impossible,” she said, crushing lice under her thumb nail.
“Yes, I know. But we who have to strive for the imperishable crown of life must overcome our lazy habits. One who is not willing to discipline his body, cannot be a good disciple of Christ.
“Exercises are good. Play some outdoor game in the evenings and sweat well. Then you’ll sleep well and not be fantasizing. I wonder how a lazy goose like you will ever run a family in the future. Okay now, have you broken up with Babu?” I tried to sound as casual as possible.
“I can’t, I simply can’t.” Her nose turned red and a flood of tears overflowed on her cheeks and dripped on her housecoat. She collapsed on her bed and sobbed. I sat down beside her and gently rubbed her back. I felt sorry for her. She reminded me of a butterfly caught in the beaks of a crow. May be I shouldn’t have touched the sensitive subject.
“Do you wish to break off?”
“Yes I do, but I dunno how. But I only do what I don’t want to do.”
“That was St. Paul’s story too. He confessed that he did things that he didn’t desire to do. That is everybody’s struggle. Have you ever talked to God about this problem?”
“That didn’t strike me.” She wiped her face and sat up.
Mala, learn to talk to God about everything - big or small. There is victory in prayer. C’mon let’s pray.”
Mala knelt down. Unbelief and hesitation written across her face, she mumbled something.
“Aunty, it is twelve. Have lunch and go.”
The pressure-cooker whistle invited me for a delicious meat curry.
“No Mala, my daughter will be home and I must get back in time.”
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, 8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
My dear sister,
I trust you are well. I need your help. Mala failed her exams and had to face her father’s fury. She has taken it very badly. She has shut herself in her room in sullen fearful silence. Perhaps you can talk to her. She may listen to you. I’ll be very grateful if you can come.
Thanking you.
Yours sincerely, Mrs. Lal
I had never expected Mala to throw aside my advice. Had I taken too much for granted? Desperate, helpless and anxious thoughts chased each other in my mind as my feet raced up the stairs to Mala’s room. I gently opened the door. Poor thing! She was in bed, her face buried in her pillow.
“Mala.”
There was self-pity, anger, resentment, self-reproach and above all - questions in her face.
“I can’t face anyone anymore! Why is God trying me like this?” She sobbed convulsively. “I’ve messed up my life. Give me a shot and kill me or tell me what I should do to commit suicide.”
“Nonsense, Listen now. Suicide is not that simple. Forget it chick. Life is a gift from God. Suicide is a one way ticket to hell. There’s no hope at the other end. You can’t come back to this world either. Hope is life’s handle. If that is broken, life cannot be handled. Never lose hope. Failure in exam is not failure in life. Don’t give up. Get up Mala. Wash your face and come. Let’s then talk.”
I waited patiently till she had calmed herself and was ready to listen. “Don’t be a coward Mala. You must face life. Let’s try to solve your problem. How did you fail? You didn’t study. Right? Then why blame God? God has promised to bless us according to our works. How can you expect God to bless you when you have not put in enough effort?
“There is no use crying over spilt milk. What you badly need now is rest and relaxation. Sleep off.”
“My mind is tortured.”
“I can understand Mala. Come let’s then sing and pray.”
She chose the song and we started.
When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost...
The song seemed to invade her every fibre. She was composed after the prayer and I promised to visit her the following week.
The next week...
A calm Mala received me and took me up to her room. My eyes roved around the room.
“Your room looks like a pig sty.”
“And I am a pig?”
“No, no, you are an angel living in a pig sty. A lazy angel. Get to work. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you look around, you’ll find so much to do that there’ll be no time to dream or get bored.”
I didn’t really expect her to swirl around. But to my surprise she did.
“Make your bed. Look at the pillow cover- bah! Stained with oil!” I removed it and put it to my nose and she jerked it out of my hand.
“Change it. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Don’t you daily sweep your room? Clean the table, put on a table cloth and arrange your books.”
Without a word we worked together and in a few minutes her room looked fit to live in!
“That’s much better. Now look at yourself! Didn’t you comb your hair? Didn’t you have a bath?”
“Oh....uh, I was about to go.”
“Don’t you bluff young lady. What a bad shape you are in at eight in the morning! What time do you wake up?”
“Seven.” She shifted uncomfortably.
“No good. Haven’t you read what the Book of Proverbs has to say about laziness? “Do not oversleep, lest you come to poverty.” You must be up by five. Brush your teeth, have a wash, comb your hair, powder your face and sing a song. You’ll feel fresh. Then read the Bible and pray. I am not surprised about your results. God does not help the slothful. Go. Have a bath and come.”
“Aunty, I don’t want to keep you waiting.”
“Aha, how you care for me. Go, go quick.”
Mala had a bath and combed her hair. I took the lice comb and started combing her hair as I talked.
“Mala, I think you should take up some household chores upon yourself. That will not lower your ‘respectability’ as some girls think. Knowing the art of running a home well will be a great and valuable asset to you in the future. Right now your mother will be grateful for your help. Studies is not everything in life. Can you cook?”
“A little...”
“Little what?”
“Mm...fry pappads.”
“Great. What else?”
“And...boil eggs.”
“Terrific ya, you ought to be given a Ph. D!
“Mala, I am looking into your future. A girl who cannot cook tastily cannot be too attractive to the husband. Girls should be girls.”
“Aunty, you must be a terrific cook.”
“Far from it. I suffer for it now. That’s why I am telling you to take it seriously.”
“I’ll do Aunty.” She tilted her head to a side and gave me a quizzical look, as if she was looking into my personal life.
“Please for goodness sake do that. There are a host of things you can do...cook, sew, wash, clean, read, write, tend the garden, draw, paint, according to the aptitudes God has given you... and keep your hair lice free.”
Mala was ready with an answer. “In our house only mummy and the maid do the household chores. I will be teased if I start...”
“For sometime. Then they’ll mind their own business. And don’t sleep in the afternoons like a log.”
“Impossible,” she said, crushing lice under her thumb nail.
“Yes, I know. But we who have to strive for the imperishable crown of life must overcome our lazy habits. One who is not willing to discipline his body, cannot be a good disciple of Christ.
“Exercises are good. Play some outdoor game in the evenings and sweat well. Then you’ll sleep well and not be fantasizing. I wonder how a lazy goose like you will ever run a family in the future. Okay now, have you broken up with Babu?” I tried to sound as casual as possible.
“I can’t, I simply can’t.” Her nose turned red and a flood of tears overflowed on her cheeks and dripped on her housecoat. She collapsed on her bed and sobbed. I sat down beside her and gently rubbed her back. I felt sorry for her. She reminded me of a butterfly caught in the beaks of a crow. May be I shouldn’t have touched the sensitive subject.
“Do you wish to break off?”
“Yes I do, but I dunno how. But I only do what I don’t want to do.”
“That was St. Paul’s story too. He confessed that he did things that he didn’t desire to do. That is everybody’s struggle. Have you ever talked to God about this problem?”
“That didn’t strike me.” She wiped her face and sat up.
Mala, learn to talk to God about everything - big or small. There is victory in prayer. C’mon let’s pray.”
Mala knelt down. Unbelief and hesitation written across her face, she mumbled something.
“Aunty, it is twelve. Have lunch and go.”
The pressure-cooker whistle invited me for a delicious meat curry.
“No Mala, my daughter will be home and I must get back in time.”
Dr. Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91 9843511943
lilianstanley@gmail.com
Blessing Youth Mission
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
+91-416-2242943, +91-416-2248943
hq@bymonline.org
www.bymonline.org
Click here for more options
To buy books written by Dr. Lilian Stanley, kindly reach to us in the follwing address
Blessing Literature Centre
21/11 West Coovam River Road,
Chintadripet,
Chennai 600 002, India.
+91-44-28450411, Mob:8806270699
blc@bymonline.org
