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How did I land up in Hell ?

“The cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and liars—their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death” (Rev 21:8).

How did I end up in this terrible place? It must be some mistake. Am I not a Christian? Did I not go to church and offer my tithe? Oh my Lord, there has been a mistake.” I cry. His question sends cold shivers down my spine. “Who are you?” Who am I? How is it that He doesn’t know me? I weep, “Lord, how can You ask me that question? Have I not been saying, ‘Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord’ for everything? Have I not been a member of the Outreach Team? Have I not prayed morning and night and read my Bible regularly? Have I not been supporting Missions? Have I not been visiting the so many Homes for the blind and supported orphans and homeless?” I am shocked when I am shown the way to hell. I beat upon my breast and pull my hair as I go along. I never expected this.

As I fall into the black hole full of fire and smoke, I scream. The devils receive me in their embrace. Now I remember how I cheated and lied to my parents, I disobeyed and disrespected them, how when I married I fought with my husband and lacked tongue control, how I had been unfaithful to him. I served mammon filling my jewel box with gold and decked my almirah with saris, I built houses and bought cars. I bought  plots hoping to sell them when the prices went up and put Fixed Deposits for my future, children and grandchildren. I told little, little lies (after all, does not everybody do it?) I didn’t think they were great sins. How I refused to repent when friends and well-wishers counselled me. I was stubborn and arrogant. I cheated myself. I deceived myself saying, “This is not a big sin,” even though I knew heart of hearts, I was not doing the will of the Father. I heard God’s voice from within but quelled it. I silenced my conscience whenever it spoke to me and finally I killed it. My God, I snuffed out the light called conscience that was burning inside me. Oh my God!

I can’t stand the heat. I lived in A/C. This darkness terrifies me. Even for one hour power-cut I used to throw up. To think I’d be groping in darkness for eternity, O my God! I thought these worms would die in the heat. But these giant caterpillars are creeping all over me. I am allergic even to dust. How will I stand this? Oh my God, please forgive me. Please hear my cry. I knew all your commands but didn’t think it was this serious to disobey. I thought you’d take my violation lightly, out of your love. To think I have to burn eternally! Oh my God, I wish I had done your will which wasn’t that difficult; but I believed the devil that I could repent later on. I never imagined death will overtake me so soon and so suddenly. I had no time to get ready to meet you. I was too busy.  Oh my God, will I get another chance to live my life? I promise you God, I will lead a perfect life. Oh my God, is there no relief for me? To add to my woes I can see heaven from here and how I am tormented to see what I have missed.

My dear friend, please do not come to this terrible place. If ever you think you cannot overcome temptation, please think of eternal burning and run away. Once you come here, there is no way out. Yeee! Iyooo!




   Address for Correspondence & Contributions:

Lilian Stanley
13 Church Colony
Vellore 632006, India
Tel: +91 9843511943
Email: lilianstanley@gmail.com